Infectiously Happy

Happily Changing

Ever heard the saying: “Day by day nothing seems to change, but pretty soon everything is different”? So many things, for me anyway, can be like this. Weight loss, career growth, children growing up, grown ups growing up…

Change is one of those things that can test even the happiest, content disposition. Even when you wanted it, planned for it or expected it, there can be difficulty navigating. Whether its a change of relationship status, financial loss or gain, weight loss, or in my case, having a baby, change can leave one feeling overwhelmed and confused. Even when it is the happiest thing you can think of, change will carry its own lessons. Frenchie and I have been in love for 8 years and decided, planned and cannot be more excited about the baby we will meet later this year. Still there were unexpected feelings and shifts that left me feeling out of sorts. Halfway through I thought I would share what I am learning so far about my own happiness and how to expand on it in the mist of change…

Allow. Plans are nice. They give you a guide, a foundation, a point of reference. But they can be flawed and unrealistic. You have to ALLOW yourself mistakes. Time alone to reflect, tears if needed and celebrations when things go perfectly well. Even with the best intentions, you will encounter unwanted experiences and you have to ALLOW these things to unfold. You cannot always control what’s happening around you, to you… But you can control how you ALLOW it to affect your happiness.

Keep a record. A week or so ago I started writing to my son. Mostly so he could know that he has always been loved, but also for myself. I never imagined even as little as 8 years ago that Frenchie and I would be at this point and I never want to forget this time. It is the happiest, scariest, most wonderful and utterly overwhelming time of my life. I want to always remember it. You owe it to yourself to be able to look back at what you have come through, accomplished, created or been a part of. There will come another change that may seem harder than the last and there is no greater encouragement than a record of your own strengths, weaknesses and learned lessons.

Be transparent. Some changes are obvious to everyone around you. Some not so much. For example you lose 50lbs. Everyone who sees you will know you lost weight and most likely comment on it. You should be happy and hopefully you are. What no one else may see is the struggle you have with your new body or the new attention. They may not be aware of the difficulty you face with maintaining. My advice? Be open with those close to you. No one is a mind reader and the best way to let people know you are working through new feelings is to tell them. I’m not saying you should be complaining or venting to everyone you see, but it’s unfair to those you work, live and play with if you keep your feelings bottled up. If you don’t tell them you may need extra time alone, support or encouragement it’s unreasonable to expect them to know you need it.

Change is inevitable, unavoidable and necessary. If nothing ever evolved, life would be a constant stream of repeated and eventually boring events. Every time you go through a major change, pleasant or not so much, you become stronger and you owe yourself some happiness throughout the process. :-)

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11 thoughts on “Happily Changing

  1. Im happy because I’m finally learning to evolve and accept things as they come and not stress over what I can not control, but to do my best to make the situation and or situations work out for the better.

    1. Thank you for taking the time to read it Brooke! I am glad someone can relate. I’ve told you before but your smiling, happy and healthy family is a testament to the kind of wife and mother you are. I am so excited for you about the twins! Germany will be awesome!

  2. Love the idea of keeping a journal, it’s cool to look back and see how far you’ve come! Time seems to fly by and to have written down how you felt on a particular day and reflect on the progress is awesome!

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