This whole pregnancy has gone by in a flash. I feel like Frenchie and I were just standing in the bathroom waiting on the double lines to appear and now our son, Palmer Addis, will be here in a few short weeks. It has been an interesting adventure so far and even though I haven’t traveled as much as I would normally, I have definitely arrived at a different place. I guess I could give you a list of the times someone touched without asking or I cried for no reason but instead I am stepping into this new thing with so much gratitude and love. That’s what I want to share.
Love actualized. Frenchie & I fell in love and from that love comes this other person. Being “with child” confirmed for me that I was married to a really amazing person. He has exemplified love in his giving, patience and willingness to be used as a klennex, shoe remover and back scratcher. I already knew I could count on him but this time really cemented that for me. What I didn’t know, couldn’t see until now was how much others loved us, how this baby would mend relationships in our families and bring together a village that supports us as people and now as parents.
Ease is the only way. I have control issues. I like plans. I make plans. But even in a planned pregnancy there will be surprises. I have learned that ease is my friend. I am okay going with the flow because the current is moving in the direction of good. No need to try and control what you don’t control. The minute I relaxed it was easy to focus on all the things that have been wonderful on this journey. I have been emotionally and physically well. The preparation for our son’s arrival has gone smoothly and all the while we have been greeted with abundance. It’s been easy.
I appreciate this body. It’s so strong and before this experience I could tell you every imperfection. I had a roll to lose, I needed my tummy to be flatter, my butt tighter. As my body changed and my waistline disappeared I realized that while being healthy will always be important, I appreciate this body, bigger, smaller, for all that it is. For nine months it has sustained two lives and with minimal discomfort. It may be bigger than I would prefer but that’s okay. I struggle with what it will look like after our son arrives but I also laugh at how I considered myself so fat before. I was pretty hot and I will be again.
I walk in my own truth, proudly. For the entirety of this experience I have been bombarded with unsolicited advice and recommendations. In some ways it was annoying and entirely frustrating but at a particular point I learned to let others fill the space with this need to advise even though they don’t know my situation or my own time spent researching and deciding for myself. I decided on medical interventions, to continue a yoga practice, dietary choices & any number of details because of what I felt would be best for my family. And at this point I don’t feel the need to explain. My truth is mine alone. I write to Palmer regularly and recently I told him that at the end of the day, each and every choice I have made during this process has been motivated by the greatest good and however it turns out it has all been done for love.
So next time you hear from me I will probably be in between a feeding or full of extra typos because I need a nap… I will also be experiencing what I now realize will be one of the best parts of my life. I am so grateful for every kind word, gift and hug from those around me. I have always been grateful for my family, friends and clients, but I am especially so now.
Many thanks to Jasiatic for this fun maternity shoot!Pin It