Infectiously Happy

Balance

PicsArt_1410341755349 I have a confession… I have been struggling with balance. I spend a lot of time rushing here or there and mainly this is troubling because internally I know it shouldn’t be that way, that I don’t want it to be that way. The trap is that we are socialized to think it is normal, that we have to be busy, so exhausted from the hustle, or we are wasting time and missing out on something when in reality life is truly about creating and maintaining the space between effort and ease. And this is not a “woe is me the new mother” post. The reality is balance has always been an issue for me, having Palmer has just put a spotlight on it. I love the work I do but it’s hard to be away all day. I still want to hang with my girls and have time with my man and go to yoga and travel and…. You get the point :-) As recently as yesterday I have found my own experience hampered because I am so consumed with effort that in moments of ease I feel guilty for relaxing, too worried about impending deadlines & responsibilities to truly enjoy the things that I deserve, like a nap! So Tinesha challenged me to post a new blog (I haven’t posted since June), so here I am with some thoughts for you (and me) on balance, how to create it & how to maintain it…

Unplug. This is the hardest for me. You have your inbox, your text messages, your voicemail and a thousand social media notifications and at some point you have to back up from it all. I’m not a firefighter or EMT so basically none of it is truly an emergency and while some are time sensitive, it’s important to create boundaries around when you engage all of it and when to put your phone down. The reality is I can’t type a coherent thought and stop Palmer from climbing on the coffee table at the same time anyway. Recently on a hike with Frenchie & P in the NC mountains, we didn’t have a signal for 6 hours. I felt free. I am committed to creating technology free moments every single day, so if you call/text/message me and get no reply, extend me some grace. I am somewhere taking a deep breath.

Respect your time. I work hard every single day, even on my days off. I have, over time, found it necessary to schedule down time. When you operate a business, “business hours” get blurred into the rest of your life and can even take over if you are not careful. While it’s important to be dedicated to your craft, it is equally important to recharge. Take yourself to lunch. Take an afternoon walk. Whatever it is you do, set out time for yourself and don’t infringe on it for the sake of work or life responsibilities. I like vacation but sometimes I just want to sit on a bench in a park and breath and that time is just as important to my life as any email or meeting I need to attend. Just remember, no one is going to respect that time you need to refuel if you don’t…

Say No. A wise philosopher named Bobby Brown said, “It’s my prerogative. I can do what I want to do”… I like to be helpful. I’m an executor and people who work with me know that. I love creating BUT for my own sanity, for the integrity of my endeavors I have had to learn to say no. I say it often and with full knowledge that my no will be met with persuasion tactics, guilt trips and pleading. I say no anyway because the people who matter always understand, even if not immediately. When you say yes to things that you really don’t want to do or that you can’t reasonably do, it leads to bitterness, being overwhelmed & resentment. Life is too short to spend time not working towards your happiness…

Do your best. It is an amazing feeling to have a to-do list & knock out the list. It can be deflating when you barely get through a quarter of your list. Having P has taught me to move through my day like water, going with the flow. Some days I get it all done plus some and some days I don’t. Creating balance means I do my best and don’t judge myself too harshly if my list has to be continued. I just keep at it. Every day. If you do your best what else can you do?

My own balance was semi restored from writing this! Lol. Just picture me standing in the middle of a seesaw on one leg, with Palmer in my arms. More posts coming soon ❤

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