Without her there is literally no me. She is my first friend, my first teacher, the example I follow in many ways in regards to my own motherhood journey. Like you or me, my mama is a human. She isn’t perfect, nor does she pretend to be. She is however, a person I admire and appreciate more than anyone else in my own life. The first time I held my own child, I became vividly aware of how much she loved me, how hard she had worked and how important her own journey had been in teaching me how to create a life I love. I believe in giving people their flowers while they can enjoy them so in gratitude I am sharing all that my mama, Gloria, has taught me about being a mother and woman. Thank you does not begin to describe my level of gratitude…
Love is an action word. My mom is a doer. She cooks, she keeps a very clean house, she will help you out, over and through. It’s how she shows her love. She calls me every day, she always did, even when I didn’t answer or return her messages. If I ever need to now what love feels like I can go to her because she has always shown me with more than words. Recently when my Aunt Pat passed away, it is my mother who showed me how much she loved me by helping me move through my Aunt’s belongings and affairs. Without her the whole experience would have been completely overwhelming. She has been showing me since I was a child that love is connected to actions not just words.
Only you make yourself happy or unhappy. My parents have had a different marriage than I have. It has its on challenges and struggles, many of which I was always a witness to. It wasn’t until I became an adult, started dating and got married that I could look back and realize the impact that relationship played in the way my mother interacted with my brother and I. A few months ago I came across a quote that said , “only you can provide your children with a happy mother” and it spoke volumes to me about my own mother. Even in times that I personally cannot imagine as a wife and mother, my own mama decided to give us a happy, present, loving mother. She didn’t take it out on us or let what she was dealing with creep into the sacred space of loving us. I don’t know if it was a conscious decision or a means of survival but she has been showing me that real happiness is not based on circumstance.
Peace is the most powerful place. I think people don’t believe me when I say that my mother never yelled at me. It’s true. She hardly ever raised her voice when disciplining. I have heard her yell, so I know she is capable of it but the most terrifying thing I knew as a child was when my mother was disappointed and quiet. She would calmly and quietly send me to my room and I would be on pins and needles anticipating what might happen. I presented difficulty, especially as a teenager, and what I appreciate most is that my own mama still met me with peace. Now I have no way of knowing if this was on purpose or not but it created in me the belief that I could be angry, or hurt and still articulate from a peaceful place, that I could have hard conversations without yelling or being aggressive.
It’s not mother’s day or her birthday but this week my mother has done what she always does… had my back in an exceptional and unbelieveable way. When I received the top photo last night I was overcome with gratitude. I cannot say thank you enough. I love you mama. You cannot know how much it means to me every day to have such a trusted, caring person to call my friend and mother. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU.