Infectiously Happy

Trigger Words

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I was driving down the street a few weeks ago, just before Duke was born and I saw the sign for a local hospice. I pulled over and wept bitterly. Last week, while binge watching a show with my husband there was a scene where someone was dying from cancer. I couldn’t look at the screen.  I’m sharing because I have come to the realization on my own journey through grief that I have some trigger words that bring up all kinds of pain for me. Just to hear them is like a dagger in my heart, bringing up ever ounce of heartache about my Aunt’s death. Day to day I navigate this well but sometimes, it’s hard and I end up in an empty parking lot with a snotty nose. The logical, yogic part of me… the part that knows this doesn’t have to be the end of the story also knows that my healing begins in my own mind. Energy flows where your attention goes. I want my energy to flow towards joys, towards love, towards light filled remembrance. So instead of those trigger words, I thought, “Hey, what if I made a list of words that refocus my attention?” I decided to make a list so lush and full that it oozes of the things that make my heart sing. Maybe it’s silly. Maybe not because in the few days since I started building it, its become a sort of salve for my spirit. And because I feel like sharing is caring, here are my new trigger words:

Palmer
Duke
Christian
O’neill
Saint Lucia
June 12
Sushi
Yoga
Columbus Ohio
My mama
Zip lining
Turks and Caicos
Independence Air
Grandpa
Nightingale Lane
Revolution EGO
Sister friends
Teaching yoga
Inglewood, CA
Day trips
Meditation
Cooking
Birthday adventures
Museum dates
Bike riding
Grand Canyon
Snorkeling
Saint Martin
Waterfalls
Aunt Patrice

So my goal is to keep adding. They are words, places,  names that remind me of the fullness of my own experience to at least bring back the balance when I feel drawn to the less pleasant side of my own feelings. Balance: the ultimate goal. I would love to see your “trigger words”. Let them fill you up, comfort you and inspire you to focus your precious energy on the light in your own life… Feel free to share in my comments!

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4 thoughts on “Trigger Words

  1. Sisters, David, shenanigans, mommy, laughter, lucky, sasha, volleyball, babies, Antigua just to name a few. Gonna journal about this because you’re right – where do I want my energy to go?

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