Infectiously Happy

Day 4 of 36: For love to flourish… 

for-love-to-flourish-the-ego-muct-dieFor love to flourish, your ego is going to have to die. You know, your need to be right and avoid embarrassment. The feeling of entitlement. The practice of wearing masks. The game of get back, subtweets and revenge. All of that will have to be put aside. Because as powerful as love is, it will be stifled, smothered and strangled by the overgrowth of a greedy ego. Ego makes you think the whole world revolves around you, owes you, is there for your pleasure…. In reality “the world” is here to teach, evolve and inspire you. Most of that will be far from pleasurable. Maybe downright unpleasant. Love too, can be a hard teacher.

A few weeks ago during a group discussion of Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements ,  we were discussing how we learn to love. A member of the group, felt as though she had never learned how to practice true romantic love. I said then and want to say now, that one of the biggest mistakes we make is to put romantic love on a pedestal above all other loves. We require it to be perfect, mind-blowing, feet sweeping and intense not knowing that it has to be treated like the love you share with a family member or good friend. We are so focused on finding romantic love but neglect being loving in the relationships we are in along side of romance. The person who cannot sustain friendships won’t be able to magically sustain a romantic relationship. The person who cannot foster harmony in family groups won’t know how to harmoniously build a family with someone else because of romance.

The relationships outside of romance fail to thrive often because of ego. The inability to connect authentically because you are pretending will seep into every connection. The practice of making others repeatedly prove their love will wear out the most devoted. The inability to have gratitude for the people always ready to help will deplete your tribe every time.

If you really love someone there is no expecting, proving and testing. There is only loving. There is honesty. There is a true desire, backed by action, to see them thrive… with or without you.

For love to flourish you will have to give love freely, even when the ego seeks validation and reciprocation. But to do that you will have to fill yourself with so much love that the giving makes no difference for you. There is no lack because you are overflowing with love.

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