Infectiously Happy

How To Keep your Ish Together. 

You know what folks always ask me? You are so busy Kelley. How do you keep it all together? First I have to laugh to myself because (1)While I do alot, I am not busy. I am creating, laying foundations and building community but most of it doesn’t feel like work. I take ALOT of time to be with my boys and family. I take time for myself daily. I will never glorify busy but I only make money when I create or accept opportunities to do so. That might look busy to most. (2) I laugh because I don’t have it or keep it all together always, but there is a system in place to make sure that most of the time I am where I need to be, with child care, with food in my belly and a smile on my face. I figured I would share…

brothersConnect to your why. You know, your motivation. Your big picture goals. Your devotion to something higher than yourself. For me this is creating spaces for healing, growth and freedom. For my boys, and children I don’t even know. Mothers, Fathers, brothers, sisters, He, she and they. I want to have choices about how I spend my time and resources. I want to be able to be with my boys while they are growing and learning. All of that guides what I decide to put my energy in, how I work in the world. There are new ideas, opportunities and connections happening but I (you) cannot do everything and be everywhere. Do what is in alignment with your why. If you cannot figure out what you should be doing come back to your why. If you aren’t sure of your why, be still and figure that out first.

Make yourself a priority. Feed yourself. Move your body mindfully. Connect to practices that support your wellness. REST. Be connected to your breath and body so that in the flow of working, creating and building, you are always making your care a priority instead of an afterthought. We cannot do the things we are called to do or want to do if we are sick, emotionally compromised or otherwise stressed because we are not taking care of ourselves. I kept making the excuse that I did not have time to eat breakfast. When I sat and thought about it more, it really spoke to my own feelings of self worth and priorities. I deserve and need nourishment so I must make a priority of feeding myself. I am better when I do it. I can do my “work” better too!

Learn to say No. And let the “no” be a complete sentence. As I said before, you cannot do everything and be everywhere. There have to be boundaries in our business and relationships. We will have to say no sometimes, without guilt or self judgement. Not everyone will like your no but you deserve agency over your energy and engagement. I say no alot more now that I have children. When we are saying no to one thing, we are essentially saying yes to something else. No, I can’t work then… Yes I can have time for merriment with my family. No I will not engage in destructive behavior… Yes I have time to focus on my goals.

20170607_080651Write it down. This technology done ruined y’all! I used to struggle because I tried to keep my calendar, my husband’s calendar, the boys’ calendars all in my head and my phone. I mean I really struggled. Then I realized that I needed daily visuals of how my time looked. So, I have three calendars. One that goes everywhere with me, one on the wall of my home “office” and the electronic one generated by the online booking software of my salon. My two written calendars hold everything and I spend time with my planner every day just so I can keep my head straight and visualize what I want to see there. Writing it down makes it real for me and keeps my on target when multiple projects are unfolding at once.

Ask for help. This is probably the hardest one for me. I don’t want to be a burden or put folks out, but really emboding this one has changed how I move in the world. Asking for help really comes down to being honest with ourselves. We can not do everything. We cannot know everything. We all need support. Once you can be honest with yourself about that you can step authentically into your interactions. You can help others find the space to do the same. That is how real bonds of community are built. We each show up, in this case asking for help, and we each support each other. We each can move into better and better versions of ourselves.

And even with all that, sometmes things go off the rails. Sometimes I forget and don’t have adequate childcare coverage or food in my belly. I am finishing this blog that I started months ago. Whatevs. Practice and all is coming. I keep at it and try to find ease through it all.


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Four small Ways to Instill Confidence in Small Children. 

Super Flying Palmer... Courageous. Assured. Free.
Super Flying Palmer… Courageous. Assured. Free.

Recently Palmer told me that some other kids didn’t like him. My heart broke. I know that everyone can’t like him. There is always going to be someone that doesn’t like you. But, um, I think he is awesome so I had a little lump in my throat. I went in for further understanding. I mean, I need to know why I might fight someone. LOL. Just kidding, kinda. So he told me that the “mean guys” didn’t like him and they told him so. When I asked him how he felt about it he said, “It makes me sad.”  Cue all the feelings. I then asked him, “Do you like you?” I wasn’t ready for his answer. “Yes mama, of course! I love me!!!” So I asked, ” Do they ever hurt you physically?” And he replied, “No, because I know how to keep myself safe. I wouldn’t let them just hurt me.” That’s when the room got dusty and the dust got in my eyes. I sat with our conversation for a bit. As I said in the beginning, our “likeability” is fleeting. Wanting to be liked has held me in bondage, stifled the truth and prolonged my involvement with interactions that were not serving my best self. I have been slowly, over years, shedding that need to be liked but it’s hard. I don’t want to pass that on. On another layer, because I am raising two BLACK people in a world that is consisently devaluing our experience, I have sincere intention around making sure they know their worth. In all things, I have no control over anyone but myself. I do have control over how I interact with them. I control how I will affirm them. I control whether or not I give them agency over their minds and bodies. I am working hard every day to show them they are capable, powerful and important, even at three and one year old. We can take small steps in our daily lives to give them a confident outlook on their experience. Just a few ways…

Give them responsibilities. Somewhere, somehow, the lie started that children can’t grasp responsibility. Every day, Palmer has jobs. Small jobs, that I can easily do, usually much quicker but I need him to know what it feels like to take care of something. Sometimes his jobs are convenient for him, like putting his shoes in the basket when we come into the house. Sometimes his jobs are not his favorite, like putting away his toys before bed, when he still wants to play. That is real life. Even at three, he understands what he is supposed to take care of. He gets responsibility. He may even go off if you try to take care of it for him because somewhere inside, his little soul has pride in getting it done himself. As he grows, as Duke grows, they get bigger jobs. And eventually I am swinging in a  hammock while they make me smoothies and sweep the kitchen. Just (kinda) kidding.

Let them create.  I am not talking about a pinterest project. I mean let them create their own entertainment, help with meals, create their own fun. We can be overbearing in our need to make “fun” activities or keep them from making a mess. Let them make messes. Let them see what they can do, what their efforts can bring forth. It may take longer. Make time for them. They deserve our time. The greatest fun I see Palmer have is when he is making his own food or playing a game that only he knows the rules to. He has a things for paper airplanes and origami that makes mail or my writing notes unsafe. The joy I see when he is immersed in his own versions of meditation through play are inspiring.

Listen to them. Even if they do not yet have words. Listen to the sounds, pay attention to their body language. Feel the energy they are giving you. They know what feels good, what they want. We can allow them to say no. It is how we teach them to keep themselves safe and listen to themselves. Palmer is old enough (physically and mentally) to tell me alot about himself. I remind myself constantly to plug into what he is really saying to me. Even with Duke, who is just finding words, those little screams are his way of communicating. I vocalize that I am listening, even if what they don’t like, getting a diaper change or seatbelt, is needed. I will tell them, “I hear you.” “I see that you don’t like ____ .” If I can adjust the situation to be more pleasing, I do. For me that is about letting them know that their discomfort is important and their experiene is valued. Try showing that to grown ups, it’s much harder work.

Check our egos. They are not ours. They came through us, but they belong to themselves. We would serve them and ourselves to remember that. Our behavior has to reflect that they are small humans and not property. We have to treat them with the same respect we require because from day one they are learning what it means to be treated kindly and humanely from us. It can be hard to walk in this truth because as parents we don’t want to be judged harshly if our child is not listening our crying in public. That is our ego. The reality is that your child will not listen. They are going to do things that may embarass you or make others uncomfortable. They are learning in each moment, so they aren’t trying to manipulate you. Most likely thay are asking for help or expressing overwhelming feelings.  We have to make sure that our interactions with them are not being fueled by fear, anger and ego. Violence (Read: spanking, popping, physical intimidation) have no place in raising confident humans. It serves the purpose of breaking, training and controlling through fear and pain. You cannot build someone up and break them down at the same time. Our ego is easily bruised, even as parents. We have to be willing to check it and interact from a place of understanding and ease.


Just small steps that can leave a big impact. I know because my mama parented me this way. This is my intentional legacy to them. My dedication as a mother is to free, empowered, confident people who can trust themselves.

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Baby Duke Won’t Be a Baby For Long.

IMG-20170228-WA0001Joyful. Persistent. Snuggly. Connected. Intense. Loving. Curious (aka Nosey)

Today is Duke’s first birthday. We are celebrating him later with family but I am going to continue my tradition of dedicating a post to his trip around the sun, just as I have done for Palmer every year…

Duke entered our family just at the right time to mend broken hearts throughout our family. I remember feeling guilty throughout my pregnancy because I spent a great portion grieving instead of being joyful. I was happy he was coming but I was still navigating the pain of losing my Aunt Pat and Christian was helping his mother through the loss of her brother Charlie. He came into the world and reminded all of us that pain does not last always. The moment I heard him cry for the first time and looked into those eyes I remember feeling the gentle reminder of the peace that is a choice in each moment. In those first days, with his heart pressed against mine I was reminded to stay connected to my joys. Duke’s smile is a continued reminder.

So I can look back and remember, a bit about who Duke is today…

  • Began walking at 10 months.
  • He is an expert climber
  • Loves to dance
  • Follows Palmer around with love in his eyes.
  • Can say: Mama, Papa, Baba (brother)
  • Can wave goodbye and blow kisses
  • Loves his milk
  • Loves Downward Facing Dog

dukehayride duketummy IMG-20170109-WA0000 dukecrib dukeovershoulder.jpg dukebeach duke1 duke alfrieds brothers3 dukelaughs dukepapa duketravels 20170201_213743 dukegigi brothers


Always know that you are a healer. You always know when your snuggles are needed. Your conception and life have meant so much to your family and community. You are a living breathing manifestation of love. The love between your mama and papa, your brother’s love, your Gigi and Grandpa’s love, your Mamie’s love, the love of Uncle O and all of our extended family. You are an embodiment of the love that Aunt Pat and Uncle Charlie shared with the world. I am so excited to see you grow into a big boy but I still bask in our night time snuggles, that loving gaze and your open mouth kisses. May you always hold that love in your heart.

Love Mama.


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10 Things about Motherhood That You Don’t Understand Unless You Are A Mother.

Let’s make an agreement. You promise not to get your panties in a bunch because I say something you don’t like. I will be honest. Agreed? 

 Motherhood is a choice, one I am grateful for. I do however know that it isn’t going to be a choice for all and I respect that. I even understand it. For most of my life I never wanted to be a mother. This post isn’t about superiority or the brainwashed idea that not having children means you missed out on something in life. This post is about perspectives. If we are going to be intentional and honest we have to increase our awareness. I often have conversations with people who do not have children that attempt to say they understand motherhood because they have a pet or babysit alot or “just about raised a child”. I appreciate the attempt to understand perspective. I need to say the thing that will be unpopular. You cannot and will not fully understand this journey unless you have been through it. And that is okay! I will never understand what it is like to be a man or to be a firefighter. We aren’t here to understand everything. You can still honor the journey of another without trying to equate it or explain through metaphor and comparison. Every mother has varying experiences and this post is about awareness and education from my perspective. Unhinge the bunching before you proceed…

1. We have changed. There is this illusion that we as mothers should strive in  being, acting, looking and living as we did before our babies came. It is not possible. We are changed. Our priorities have shifted. What looks like a good  time is different. As we are evolving  through this continually changing responsibility who we are and how we can/will show up is not going to look like it looked before. And the pressure to return to something from before in the exact same way is unrealistic and traumatic.  We cannot be the same. Work. Relationships. The Gym. I am not talking less. I am saying different. My own focus is razor sharp. I am able to clearly set goals and knock them out because my motivation has changed. They are depending on me. I cannot invest  my energy in the same ways. I need that energy to fuel my life with them.  I care about wellness so I do what I must but my regimen doesn’t look like it did before. It can’t .  I don’t mourn it either. I embrace it. 
2. We are questioning our every move. We have to because we are bombarded with opinions, advice and real time “consequences”. Our lives have become about more than our own comfort and desires. Each of us wants the best for our little ones and the internal judge of motherhood can be a harsh one. One less voice of question can be helpful. 

3. You don’t see all of our children. Infant and child loss is an ignored and so overlooked trauma that affects more mamas than you can imagine. There are mamas walking around with no  children. There is a shame associated with miscarriage that creates a deep  wound into the hearts of many women. Questions about more babies or why there are no babies are a stinging reminder that isn’t helpful or necessary.  I do not know the pain of burying or losing a child so I don’t understand it. I can honor the love that will not end whether that child was here for a moment or years. 

4. We are consistently disrespected.  We are told how to hold, when to hold, how to feed, where to feed, how to discipline and on and on.  Shamed, blamed, rushed through the process and expected to put the comfort of grown ups over the care and comfort of our babies. I could write a dissertation, honestly. And it would revolve around the disgust I encounter when I travel with my boys. Children are humans but mothers are routinely pressured to treat them inhumanely. We aren’t given space or time (see Maternity leave time frames around the world) to fully grasp or connect to this new human.  Just a reminder that a little compassion goes a very long way. 

5. This is a life or death responsibility.  From conception our responsibility is so serious. We can watch and protect, plan and safe guard their lives and still there are things we cannot protect them from. There are accidents and illness that  we cannot prevent. It is a divine honor but sometimes an overwhelming reality. Recently, Palmer got away from me at the door of a grocery store and was out of my reach, moments away from stepping into traffic. I replay that incident and my heart almost beats out of my chest. It’s insensitive to compare what we are doing to job responsibilities like emails and deadlines or to make fun of the concern we have for their safety and who we entrust them to. 

6. Motherhood is isolating.  For all the friends and family, wonderful spouses and supportive efforts, this  journey also makes you feel alone. There are moments when you have to sit  with the changes, shifts and transitions. Not everyone will know how and when to help, reach out and support. For most moms there is a gap that can fuel the emotional turmoil that often accompanies postpartum. I think about sitting next to Palmer’s NICU bed wanting to hold him. Even with Christian by my side and throngs of people praying for and holding us up I felt a solitary pain that I do not ever want again. I am fortunate to have an incredible village but I have had relationships that could not survive this change and I am aware that most do not have support at all. 
7. We know our children. We have been learning them in each moment. They  are each different and need different types of caring, support and engagement from us. We are all trying to thrive until naptime or bedtime as best we can while maintaining a balance between the demands of our unmotherly responsibilities. We know if they are ready to sleep alone or use the potty. We alone know if it’s time to ween. We know their disabilities, challenges and illnesses. Imagine the frustration of someone coming to your job giving you instructions after watching you work for 3o minutes….  

8. It’s not all joy. I wish it was. I wish  each moment was an Instagram picture of motherly bliss. Sometimes I  look at my instagram to remember it was all joy last week, yesterday , 10 minutes ago… It’s  beautiful, inspiring and amazing. It is also overwhelming, exhausting and sometimes heartbreaking. We can be grateful for these babies and honor the discomfort that is part of this journey.

9. We deserve our own care. We cannot possibly care for our children if we neglect  ourselves.  We have to create time to replenish ourselves. Sometimes, most times, that will not look the same as before we embarked on this  journey. So a night out with the girls could work but it could also be a lot of work in terms of getting ready, coordinating child care and having the energy to resume mothering upon returning home. Maybe your mom friend needs a shower and a nap.  

10. We need our village. There was a time when we remained in family groups and were surrounded by people, other women who supported and assisted us in this journey. As this world has gotten bigger the distance from those we love has also grown. The need for support is still there. The village helps to keep the parents as well as the babies. The village fills the void of grandparents and family if need be. It is essential.  Be willing to love compassionately. 

Perspective. Joy to your day. 

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Day 32-35 You have Choices…

I took a break from social media for multiple reasons but one motivator was the way I feel repulsed  and angry by the posts, opinions and negativity that seems to call the internet home. I wanted to be away from it. Not to be in a bubble of utopian bliss, but to actively engage in the building, connecting and engaging that created healing and peace for the people around me.  I have been working… Hard. I have had a beautiful month. There are things about places like FB and IG that I have not missed. Yesterday though, while in Target for some treats for Palmer I met a woman who I am connected to through these platforms, who I wouldn’t know any other way and I was reminded of the kind of community we can use this social media thing to build. All month that lesson has been present and I knew I was coming back to social media so this aint a major epiphany… I just need to say, We have choices. We  can use it how we want. We can disconnect when we need to. And come back when we feel like it. 

How powerful would we be if we used this base of connection to build, teach and to be of service? 

Oh and yes this post goes through tomorrow because  the reality is I am going to be with my mama and brother, dad, husband and babies for the next few days with our chosen family. I will be basking in all the love, joy and peace you can imagine.

I wish the same for anyone reading this. 

I send special warmth and assurance to all of us missing  someone or many someones. This time can  be a reminder and include intense longings. We have the choice not to suffer. Honor the pain. Connect to the love. I am choosing the love in each moment today. 

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Day 31 Are You Even Trying? 

You owe it to your future self to try. To start. To give it a go. To step out there. 

In business.

In love.

In life.

In self love. 

We will talk ourselves right out of everything we need because we are afraid to fail. We feed ourselves stories of impossibility and sure disaster. We won’t even try. Then we wake up a month/year/lifetime later to the same shipwreck. Nothing is going to change unless we do. Nothing is going to flourish  unless we try to create something different for ourselves. All of it is not going to work out or have longevity but it can be a building block or a lesson. Sometimes you will have to try something else. I can guarantee, with absolute certainty that each try makes you stronger, helps eliminate the unnecessary and focuses your energy. 
 You have just over a week left in 2016. What are you trying today? 

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Day 29 and 30… An attitude of gratitude. 

2016 has been phenomenal. TRULY! I entered the year grief stricken but intentional about my own healing. I had some things I really wanted to see manifest and man have they!  I am not saying there haven’t been some tests and moments of uncertainty. Words are not going to be enough and I will certainly cry and  forget someone or something but please charge it to my head and not my heart.  I am grateful for all of it. In the spirit of gratitude I have a list…

Baby Duke. He joined our family on 3/1/2016. He mended some broken hearts with his birth, including my own. 

Barrington Steed. Also known as my husband. He is a talented artist but has not had much time to create. I am grateful that this year he is back creating on top of being an awesome father and loving mate. I love you Carboni. 

Palmer. Threenager life is interesting. I am learning ALOT about patience and moving away from the mindset of lack. It has a powerful impact on dealing with a moody and head strong toddler. I love his loving heart and quick wit. I think he got his attitude naturally  (from me) so I get it. 

Revolution EGO. We are completing our fifth year of business and this year has been a powerful manifestation of our mission statement. I love how it is evolving. 

My business partner and bestie Tinesha. She has held me down this year, not unlike the 15 years before, but I am grateful for our sisterhood and solidarity in creating the life we want for ourselves as business partners and friends. 
Shanice. She is amazing to work with. I am so grateful for her smiles each  morning and her unwavering commitment to Revolution EGO. 

My accountability partners. Setarra and Nicole. They hold matches to the soles of my feet, not literally but truly in terms of pushing me to follow through, take the baby steps and face my fears. This two are dynamic in their own right so I am honored to be in their ranks. 

 My mama. She continues to be the best mama in the world. I know I am biased but she truly is amazing. I owe her my life, continually. 

 My mother in law, Tina. She gave birth to my soulmate and for that I will always be grateful. I am thankful that from across the sea she makes time to be connected to my babies in her own special way.

O’neill. I am grateful for him as a lifetime friend and amazing uncle. He turned 30 this year and I so happy to see him working so hard on things he loves. 2017 is going to be even more amazing. 

 Aerin.  She isn’t my sister in law but I sure hope she is one day. She has been down for my family since day one and I love the way she loves my brother.

 Brandy. Best babysitter. You cannot know what it feels like to know someone will love on your babies in your absence until you find that babysitter. Thank you for always making me feel good when I close that door to walk out. 

 Jasiatic. My play wife. Mom life is not a game… To have a cohort in it is amazing.  I love you mama. 

 The entire village. Grandpa, Grandma Tiny, Uncle Eric, Uncle Carl, Aunt Kenya, Holly, Molly, Moyeh, everyone who is slipping in my 2016 memories. I know I will forget someone… All of you make it possible with last minute babysitting and help in so many ways. 

Every client who sat in my chair or visited the salon or supported an event. Without them there is literally no way. Layers and  layers of gratitude exist for each and every one of them.

My fellow yogis. I am thankful for every class, workshop or retreat where they joined, invited and promoted. I love yoga and am so grateful for the amazing community I am in. I am grateful to be able to share yoga in ways that are authentic and empowering for everyone involved. 

The  Get Well Podcast. I am grateful for every guest and listener. I have personally learned so much.  I love doing the show and am so happy with the way it is unfolding.
The small business owners community. I am surrounded by some very inspiring and powerful folks. I am grateful for collaboration, inspiration and opportunities. We will all keep pushing forward.

My friends and extended family. Love is a circle and I am grateful for the continuous flow of love around me. 

Continued possibilities. 

New projects.

Upcoming announcements

Continued health and wellness 




What are you grateful for in 2016?

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Day 27, maybe 28 too. Misery Loves Company… 

Because this is so common you are probably like, “Duh Kelley.” Also, I am losing  count of the days… Whatever man. 

I am still going to remind you about the nature of spreading pain though… Especially because this time  of year brings out the most miserable. Be careful because  social media makes it possible for the misery to be spread virtually. That shit is toxic. I am reminded daily that the break  I am on is beneficial in terms of making definitive boundaries between myself and the people who are hell bent on being miserable. I am enjoying the real life conversations and connections that have had time to truly be nurtured. I am not  saying I will never be back.  I am saying it helped me identify what & who is more important. Folks use social media to get out the negative energy that is festering in their own lives…  

Be aware of the ways you spread toxic energy. We are responsible for the energy we share. It is natural to feel anger, sadness, frustration, etc. In some ways it can be helpful to talk to someone about it. It is  helpful to take time to heal yourself.  You deserve to be healed. We don’t have to spread our own pain though… Not through negative conversations, attention seeking or unnecessary drama. Connect to the people who are committed to raising the vibration.  Engage with the people who are going to inspire, support and love you. Misery can’t thrive in the presence of love anyway. 

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Day 24,25 & 26: Keep Pushing.

On January 15th I posted a blog about setting intentions for yourself. See for yourself HERE. In it I included a list of things I wanted to unfold  in my own life. Somethings happened so quickly, somethings I changed my desire to complete and others are still manifesting themselves. What I am continually blown away by, even 16 days away from the end of the year, is how most of it came together in ways I could have never imagined… 2016 has been the bomb. I am so excited about next year. 

I am here with a reminder to you that whatever you are working for or towards is coming. You just have to keep pushing. We are all encountering stumbling blocks and distractions. Acknowledge it. Honor the lessons but DO NOT STOP! We deserve to have a life that really feels good. No one is going to create it for you. 

I am on the last, very tedious steps of a really important and terrifying project and several times this week I have wanted to give  up.  I have tried to talk myself out of it. I am grateful for friends, a husband and  my mother who are holding me accountable and encouraging me to keep pushing. 

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Day 22 & 23: Palmer was born in the circle of the sun. 

Balloons for the birthday boy.

Today in the third celestial return of Palmer. It’s his birthday. Our birthing  day.  I guess as your children get older this day gets less magical… I hope not. I understand why my own mama wanted to be near me on my own birthday. I am still in awe of this experience of mothering Palmer. This year of his life has evolved in so many ways. He is constantly teaching us that he is his own person [read: having unpredictable mood swings and tantrums]. Every day he seems taller and more like a big boy than a baby. I only cried once today. This is my third birthday post to Palmer and as promised, these posts are dedicated to remembrance of who he is now because he is continually evolving… Click for Year 1 and Year 2.

Palmer loves…

The wonder of the three year old mind.

the Moon. He sings to it. He looks for it every night. He now has a plastic moon that lights up on his wall. 

His brother… Most of the time.

Planes (paper airplanes mostly . )

Volcanoes. His knowledge of magma and lava is impressive.


Living room dance parties. He prefers Funk and Afrobeat but will jam to anything. 

Cooking and baking with me.

This year Palmer…

Brotherly love.

Became a big brother. He is evolving in this role but does love to make Duke laugh. We are still working on being gentle and sharing. 

Started school. This is the first time he has been away from us and not with our family or friends.  He loves going to Roots at ALC Mosaic and it feels good leaving him there each time. Even today at the circle time set aside to celebrate his latest trip around the sun was confirmation that he is in a community that supports what we try to create for him at home. They sang a song about his trips around the sun, we looked at photos of him on this day for the last three years and we all shared cookies.

The offering board at school today.

Palmer is my cautious adventurer. He is creative and inquisitive. He can be temperamental and seems to feel very deeply. He is kind and loving. He is funny. He celebrated yesterday with a family dinner at Nakatos where he revealed he is scared of fire. 

With Uncle O’neill. Not shown: the meltdown over the fire used for cooking and his birthday candle.

Happy birthday Palmer. You will always be my first lesson in the depth of motherly love. I am so grateful for you and your heart. May you always know how much you are loved. 

Love Mama ❤

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